Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I Have to do it.....

Tomorrow and for the next seven days, I am going to do a Juice Fast. I really feel as if I have lost all semblance of control when it comes to my eating. Each day I get up and start anew, and I ask God for help in controlling what I eat. Each afternoon I come home from school and I just eat. And eat. And eat. I don't want to think about what I am eating, I just want to shovel it in. It has to stop.

I feel like I am totally abusing my body, showing disrespect to it and to God by eating in this manner. So I have decided to do a fast for a week. I don't think I could do water only, but I am going to do my best to do a juice only fast. If I feel shaky or sick, I may do one with protein shakes, but I would like to do just juice if I can. I want to detoxify and cleanse myself from the JUNK I have been eating, and get away from food period. I have to stop the hold that it has on me right now, and deny myself what I want most....which is food. Food, food and more food. Not food for sustenance. Not food for energy. But food for food's sake. Food for entertainment, enjoyment, satisfaction. This week, I want to find my satisfaction away from food, and nearer to God.

It is not even about the number on the scale anymore. Which I am sure is way up. It is about my relationship to food, and my warped view right now. I want to honor God in all that I do, and right now I am not honoring Him at all with my eating habits. If you are a believer, please add me to your prayer list this week...I am surely going to need the extra prayers!


  1. Sue, I am definitely going to pray for you, but I am also going to PLEAD with you to NOT DO THIS! I am just going to give you my opinion and I am not going to judge you AT ALL because I can FEEL your desperation right now. I know it all too well. I just want the opportunity to talk you out of this. I don't think a juice fast is healthy; your body needs fuel in the form of healthy, wholesome foods not a bunch of sugary juice. I know you want to detox from the junk and just basically stay away from food so that you can get off the bingeing roller coaster, but I think doing the juice fast will cause a boomerang effect. Because you will only be drinking, I believe that you will think about and crave food CONSTANTLY. I say this from my own experience. I literally tried everything in the world to try to lose weight and stop me from bingeing. The only thing that works is good old healthy eating and exercise. You already know this because you have lost 80 POUNDS!!!! Sue, you have done it! You have been successful! I know you feel out of control now, but try to channel that time in your life when you were fully committed and "in the zone" for losing. Just give it one more try this way. Who cares about the BLBE challenge and trying to participate in that. Just concentrate on yourself and getting yourself back to the starting gate of losing weight in a healthy manner. I think you should start tomorrow by setting the goal for eating one healthy meal and doing 20 minutes of some form of exercise. It doesn't have to be anything hard core; even just go for a walk. Don't worry about what goes on the rest of the day. If you overeat again, fine. It's o.k. because you already hit your first goal. Then, the next day, shoot for 2 good meals and another walk. And go from there. I think if you set small, attainable goals, you will get your confidence back and newfound resolve to tackle this weight loss journey again. You can do this, Sue! I KNOW YOU CAN! I believe in you - you lost 80 pounds!!! If you did it once, you can do it again. Juice fast - just say no!!! :)

    No matter what you decide, I fully support you :) Just think about it...HUGS

  2. I completely agree with Marisa...so many times, even the celebrities will gain back everything they lost plus some, and they are grouchy.

    Its just very unhealthy and I think if you can put that much determination into a juice fast, you can do the same with real food. Sorry to sound so preachy :( but I want you to be healthy!

  3. You guys are the best. I mean it. And I hear you too. But I have been saying the same thing to myself the past two weeks, and I just have not been able to eat what I know is right.

    If it makes you feel any better, I am not doing this because of wanting to lose weight. I am doing it only because I feel like I am controlled by food to a horrible extent right now. I am not doing it because of the BLBE challenge (which I think I am out of anyway, because I didn't report the weight 4 times.) I feel like I need to do a fast because I have given food 1st place in my life right now.

    I do not want to or plan to stay on this longer than 7 days, and after I do the fast, I want to ease back into healthy foods. I can just feel that my body completely needs to detox from what I have been eating lately. Though I agree with you both, (and can see myself saying exactly what you have to me a month or so ago) I am feeling led by God to do this if I can.

    I was doing some research yesterday about Juice Fasting, and found a website called Freedomyou.com. It was very interesting, and seemed to be a confirmation of the very reason I wanted to start the fast. I do want freedom from this compulsion to eat, and I had that in the past...for most of the last year. For some reason, I have lost that control, and have had an extremely difficult time getting it back.

    I agree Juice Fasting is kind of extreme, but I am going to be careful. I am not diabetic, but I will check my blood sugars, and I will not let myself feel weak or sick from it. If I do start feeling anything but hunger, I will stop the fast.

    Thanks for your comments Marisa and May. I truly do appreciate them, and I actually agree with them! But my food compulsion has just gotten out of control in the past couple of weeks, and I want to honor God with everything in my life. Right now, the overeating is truly just gluttony, and it needs to stop. Fasting will put the brakes on it in a way that will be undeniable. I will let you know how it goes though... and I won't go for more than one week. Promise. :)

  4. Okay, Sue. I will try to check in on you this week. I am going away, but I'll be thinking of you and I'll try to find my way to a computer to see how you're doing :)

  5. Wow - I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Just take things one day at a time during your fasting!