What? It's Friday?!

This week went so fast for me. I am a school nurse, and we had two snow days this week, which I LOVED. One day we also went into school 2 hours late. The week just flew.

Eating has been good since Monday. I am enjoying the healthy foods, and get a lot of inspiration from fellow bloggers, especially those that post pictures of their meals. I love it!

Tonight I decided to pull out an old favorite...Boca burgers. I always forget how much I like them. I cooked one up and melted some havarti cheese on top. Added a little raw spinach, some ketchup and mustard, and it was really, really good. Had it w/ some leftover broccoli and some blueberries. I have been hungry though in the past hour or two, so I ate a banana and then an apple. Following my new rule. If I am hungry after dinner, I can only eat fruit or veggies. I have found that by following that standard, it keeps me from mindless nibbling, and I only eat if I am truly hungry.

Weigh In is tomorrow morning. Let's hope it is a good one! :)

Another dinner out..

Well, tonight I had another dinner out. My second of the week. Hope it doesn't play havoc with the weight loss. I tried to plan ahead...didn't eat a snack in the afternoon to save some calories.

I took one of my best friends out for dinner for her birthday. I had a gift card, she had a coupon, and I ended up paying $1.53 for two of us to have a really nice meal. Yay, cheap friend that I am! :)

I got some sort of shrimp dish w/ angel hair pasta. Marinara sauce. It was good. I only ate 1/2 though, and left the other. I have never left food on my plate at a restaurant before. I usually bring it home. But I wasn't sure how it was made, and decided to play it safe and leave it.

So I am hoping that tomorrow will be a good day and I will be able to show a good loss on Saturday. And no more eating out at least until Sunday!

RSVPing depends on the food!

I have noticed lately that there are events that I am invited to that I send my regrets about going to for one simple reason: there will be the temptation of food. I never thought I would be like that. And I am not sure I like it. One thing about this whole weight loss journey is that I am determined not to be "on a diet", but to instead change myself into a healthier person, with a healthier lifestyle that includes exercise and eating foods that are best for my body.

However the holidays were really difficult to remain healthy through. All the parties, the gatherings, the special events...they all had food, and lots of my old favorites. Somehow you get into that holiday spirit of: "Oh what's a little bit of fudge going to hurt?" "It is Christmas, or (insert holiday here.)" "I deserve a break." "I can get back into if after the holidays." Etc, etc. So many ways to rationalize a piece of pie.

And I don't really think eating some goodies is wrong. I think it should be able to be worked into a healthy lifestyle. But I have not developed that special skill yet. I am an "all or nothing" kind of gal. I don't seem to have the ability to eat one amazing piece of cake and then stop. It triggers other nibblings, other tastings, and suddenly, the scale is going up, not down.

I am finally back on track (for the most part) after the holidays, and then I received an invitation for a work related Holiday Party. (They hold it after the actual holidays.) My first thought was: "That sounds fun!" My second thought was: "There will be lots of food that I should not be eating there." It is part catered dinner, part potluck. I decided that the temptation, and possibly setting myself back into a vicious carb craving cycle is just not worth it, so I decided not to go. Another friend was having a party, and invited me. I turned the invite down, because I know the evening will be centered around food.

Now,obviously, if it is something I really want to attend, then I will go, and make a way to pick healthy food to eat. Either by making and bringing it myself, or by finding out if there are healthy alternatives. (Like my cousin's upcoming Super Bowl Party. You bet I will be there!) But I have discovered that if it is an event that I am not 100% sure that I want to go to, I will send my regrets more times than not, because I just don't want to deal with the temptation of food. Does anyone else do that? Or am I the only anti-social food person?

Umm, could we just pretend yesterday didn't happen?

Yesterday was NOT a good day on the food scale. For some reason, I felt really munchy all day long. I was craving pizza. I wanted chocolate. I wanted all things not good for me.

My little guy was off school...but I was at work. I am a school nurse, so there were no kids and really not much that I needed to do. I was bored. Boredom and munchies do not work well together. I had eaten part of my lunch by 10:30, and still didn't feel satisfied.

A little after 12:00 a friend came in and put a pizza box on my desk. "Want some pizza? We went out and couldn't finish it." Nooooooooooooooooo! Not the one thing I am craving! I am strong some days, and weak others. I have turned down many a slice of pizza, many a cupcake. But yesterday I ate some pizza. Not a lot, only about 1 1/2slices. And there was a lot of pizza in the box. But I only ate a little of it. Still.

I did not eat any cupcakes, but honestly, only because there weren't any. I did eat a few cookies. I felt out of control and weak as I shoved them down. I knew it would set me into a carb-craving mode, and I knew I would not feel the greatest physically either, as my body has gotten out of the high fat and sugar meals. The rest of the day was not any better. It involved chocolate (sugar free at least), some chips, a brownie, and one pop tart. Sugar galore.

HOWEVER, today is another day. Fresh start, thank goodness. I am waiting until I am hungry to eat breakfast. Had some coffee and an apple to start the metabolism. I WILL stick to healthy foods today, and I will spend extra time on the treadmill to "pay penance" for yesterday.

We have a snow day today, so I am off of school. I plan to get in even more exercise by shoveling to get off some of those extra calories I consumed yesterday. And I WILL be successful. There is no other option. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

Bummer...Big Gain of 3.8 lbs!

Well, the scale wasn't kind, just as I was expecting. Up 3.8 lbs. The good thing is that I can pretty much blame it on just fluid retention. I know I will lose this gain quickly. However, it is still no fun to see the number going up! Especially when you are trying to help the A Team win another week. (Go Team Angie!!) Hope some others in our group had some pretty big numbers to make up for my gain.

However, the nice thing is that I am back in the exercise swing of things again, and doing that daily torture. Some day I hope it no longer feels like torture! :) That will be a grand day.

Otherwise busy today....just got home from a meeting after church. We had lunch there..fortunately I brought some fruit and ate some Beef Vegetable soup that someone had brought, so it wasn't bad in the food department. Tonight my in-laws want to take us out to a small restaurant I have never been to before. Not sure what will be on the menu! Hopefully I can find something not too damaging. :) Here's to the start of a better weight loss week!!

Mmmmm...hot steaming coffee...

One thing I love is a good cup of coffee. Now,mind you, I am not a real coffee connessoir. In fact, I don't even think I spelled connessoir correctly. But I love a nice cup of hot coffee on a cold day, or pretty much any day.

My favorite is Dunkin Donuts coffee. If I had a choice (and calories didn't count) of choosing a donut or the coffee when I walked into DD, I would take the coffee. It is that good. What I especially like is that it fills me up too. Helps to take away that craving for sweetness or something. I just like it.

So I usually make my own coffee at home in the morning. It is just never as good. Tonight I bought DD own brand of ground coffee, and I am hoping to make a pot tomorrow that resembles what I am sipping right now. :)

I also love their Egg White Flatbread sandwiches - the veggie one. I don't like the turkey sausage one as much. So for dinner I ordered the Veggie Flatbread and a coffee. Of course when I got home, the guy had made the one I specifically didn't want - the Turkey Sausage one. Oh well. Such is life. I ate it anyway. At least he got the coffee right!

Weigh in for me is tomorrow morning. I am not expecting much, as I said the other post. That TOM, and then not exercising as much this week will not help the numbers go down. But I went for a long walk/some jogging this afternoon, and I am hoping that tomorrow morning maybe I will at least break even!!

Why is it so hard???

Every day there are so many choices to make about food. Whether to have eggs in the morning, or oatmeal. Chicken for lunch, or a sandwich. I get tired of having to think so very hard and plan ahead for my meals. But I have to, or I will definitely get off track. I will get so hungry, I will grab whatever looks good, or seems easy, and then I will destroy a whole day's worth of hard work. I hate that.

Today I have kept my eating healthy, and that feels good. But it has been hard. I have craved chocolate, and Fritos, and M&M's. I want them all, and I feel sometimes that it is unfair that I just can't eat some like most people do.

What is even worse is that the scale this week is not moving down, but up. Sure, it is that TOM, but still...I hate that I am trying so hard and not seeing results. I know it will eventually come off, but it seems the number on the scale should be directly related to the amount of times you resisted that food that wasn't good for you. So, say for not eating 20 M&M's, I should lose 2 lbs. Or for not eating a big slice of cheesey, gooey pizza, I should lose at least 1 lb. No cake....2 lbs, no cookies..another two. Wouldn't that be a great way to lose weight???

Uh Oh....Buffet for dinner!

I was out running around doing errands with my son after work, and he wanted to eat at a buffet for dinner. We used to eat at this buffet prior to my making changes in how I eat, and I always left feeling stuffed to the gills. I really didn't want to eat there tonight. But we were hungry, and it was there, and I decided to test myself, and go for it.

I think I passed the test! I was able to make healthy choices for all of it, and I only filled up one plate. Instead of fried chicken or fried shrimp, I got baked salmon. Instead of mashed potatoes or mac and cheese, I got a big old pile of green beans and collard greens. (Which were revolting by the way. Sorry, Southerners.)The green beans were good though, so I ate those. I also had a small baked potato and a little bowl of split pea soup. For dessert, I had a tiny dab of SF pudding. Water to drink.

I had eaten light all day, because I wasn't that hungry, but by the time I came to the buffet, I was truly hungry. I am so glad that I made healthy choices, and I think I will make out just fine despite eating there tonight. It felt good to be in control, and it felt really nice to walk out of there with lightness in my step, not feeling stuffed to the brim. And now that I am home, I don't have to fix dinner or clean up. Double hooray! :)

Blogs are taking over my life!!

Okay, I think I need a course in time management. I just can't do it all anymore! Yesterday I didn't get a chance to post...too much happening in my household. The munchkin is sick, and clothes need washing, the sink is full, and a mouse needs to be caught. Blogging just ended up not happening.

Eating is going well, though I still have to work on the exercise thing. I find it so inspirational to sit and read other weight loss blogs that I end up just sitting there for an hour or so, reading about ideas on what to make, or how to get more exercise in, etc. It helps to see others struggling with the same issues that I am, trying to get healthy.

But spending that much time on the blogs is not helping to keep my house in order, or to get my workouts in. So I am going to have to limit my time at the computer, in order to be a better mom and to have a clean house with clean dishes and clean clothes!!

Please know I am still fully engaged in this BLBE battle, but that I just might not be posting every single day without fail. And I may not be able to comment on other's blogs as much as I would like. But I am fighting the good fight, and the A Team will prevail! :)

Movie and Lunch out today.....

My son wanted to go see "Hotel for Dogs", so we went today to the big mall in town. The one with all the many places to eat. He wanted to eat at a Mexican place, so we went in. I was hungry, but afraid I would overdo it on everything that this place serves...their portions are HUGE. I wished I could just order a child's size plate, but they didn't allow it. Nor did they allow lunch portions today, because it was a holiday. Huh? I don't follow that one.

Anyway, I had about 8 tortilla chips with salsa, then just ended up ordering a chicken tortilla soup, instead of an entree. It was really, really good. My son got the soft beef taco, and I had about two bites of it that he didn't finish, along with his fresh fruit he didn't want.

Overall, I think I did great at controlling what I ate. I could have eaten so much more...but chose not to. He left his fries on his plate after eating a few, so we had no leftovers to carry into the movie with us. Of course popcorn was a must for the boy, and I got him a child pack. He ate almost all the popcorn...I had maybe one small handful and that was enough.

By the time the movie was over, I was getting really hungry again. The soup portion was not very large, and though tasty, did not have much chicken in it either! I elected to drive home though, instead of wandering the mall and having to resist temptation. Just had a bowl of oatmeal and two clementines, and enjoyed every bite. Tonight for dinner I may just have some veggies with a slice of cheese, or a hardboiled egg. Then it is back to work tomorrow.....where I can generally stay on track a little bit more easily!

Down SEVEN pounds!

Woo hoo! Well, it is actually seven pounds in almost two weeks, but hey! I will take what I can with that. My start weight with the Biggest Loser Challenge was 323, and I am now down to 316! I am so thrilled to be losing again. And 316 is a number I have not seen before in this journey's downward trend. I had seen 317 right before Thanksgiving, but couldn't get myself back on track to lose anymore since then.

Today is the big test with the wings and the chocolate cake made with horse poop for icing. (That's what I am telling myself.) I already called my mother in law and told her not to order me any wings, and that I wasn't going to eat any cake. Now she will be watching me! :) Of course that wouldn't really stop me. Not if I wanted it badly enough. But losing these seven pounds for the first BLBE weigh in result has helped me to want to really keep on losing.

GO TEAM ANGIE!! :)

Finally Back to Exercising!

Since Christmas, I have really fallen off of the exercise bandwagon. I don't know why. For the past two weeks, my eating has been pretty healthy, under contol. But my activity level has been...well, can we say Sedentary? (Yes, it needed a capital S.)

I had been walking outside every day for at least 30 min, and when I couldn't get outside, I did the treadmill. No big deal. A little arm work with the bands, and I was good to go. Since my "break" I have had absolutely no desire to do anything. In some ways, I have felt like doing very little in every aspect of my life. I would really like to just curl up with some hot tea, a blanket, and a good book. Hibernate. I sit and look at things that need to be done around the house, and just avoid them by going to read some more blogs. It is sad. :)

However, today I said, "Enough is enough!" I actually did a WATP tape. The one miler. Not much. But at least a start. In a bit I am going to do the bands, and maybe do the tape again tonight. I need to get back into a routine. I am so inspired by so many other BLBE'ers that are out there at the gym, or running, or ellipticaling, or whatever. You guys rock. Thanks for showing me how it should be done.

I'm Not Going to Do It!

Not going to eat the cake that is. My resolve is sure. The other hard part of this dinner coming up is that the birthday boy wants wings for dinner. Last year was the same, I remember everyone just eating wings and cake. Not a great idea for me.

SO I have planned to bring my own dinner there, (my MIL won't care, except to feel bad that she has not provided something that I would like to eat), and I may even bring a pudding cup to eat when everyone else is having cake.

Part of what is difficult about this whole getting healthy journey is that I don't want to feel like I am on a diet. So I have decided that if there is something out there I really desire, I should eat it, and maybe cut back in other areas to make up for it. Kind of like the WW mentality of points, and frankly, it is just how many thin people eat all the time.

However, I have realized in this past year that sometimes that works, but most of the time it doesn't work for me. I have a serious problem w/ sugar. My body gets the most vicious cravings when I indulge in sugar, and it takes a long time to get away from those cravings. I have gradually learned that I can't deviate into Candyland unless I want to end up in a horrible cycle of eating worthless calories, etc.

Thanks to all of your comments...you really helped me to solidify this decision, and I will definitely NOT eat the cake on Sunday. :)

Cake or No Cake? That is the question..

I have been giving way too much thought to a stupid piece of chocolate cake. Back around Christmas, my mother-in-law served this delectable chocolate cake w/ chocolate mousse in the middle, and chocolate butter cream icing on the outside. The cake itself was rich, chocolately, and all that a cake should be. I had a piece then, amidst the indulging of holiday times, and enjoyed it so very much.

Fast forward to this week. The aforementioned cake was huge. We did not eat the whole thing that Christmas. So my dear MIL wrapped it up carefully and froze it. She announced last Sunday that she is thawing it for my nephew's birthday party this Sunday night.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Say it isn't so! I have been back on track. I have lost the weight I gained over the holidays. I have detoxified myself from the sugar cravings. And she plans to offer me a slice of THE best cake I have ever eaten?? What do I do? I have been thinking about it all week.

I could just eat it, work it into my day, and move on. But if I have learned one thing in this journey, it is that I can never stop after one sugar-filled piece of cake, or cookie, or candy, or whatever. It is not the way I am made.

So I have made the decision NOT to eat the cake on Sunday. Pray that I will be strong. I know that a normal person could just cut back on other calories for the day, and manage the piece of cake without much damage. But I am not normal. (My sisters have told me that for years..it must be true.) I am not normal in my eating habits, or I wouldn't still weigh over 300 lbs, despite losing 80 in this past year. I doubt I will ever have a "normal" relationship with food. I can't be like other people. I just have to deal with this demon the best way I can. For me, that is remaining cakeless on Sunday. Jello pudding anyone??

Busy Day = Less Food. Hooray!

Yesterday I had the munchies. I was not too busy at work, and just wanted to eat all day long. Though I managed to make healthy choices, and stay okay within my calories, I felt like I wanted to just munch and munch and munch. I don't like those days.

Today was very different. I was really busy at work, and though I had planned for a snack mid-morning, I found I blew right threw it, and was reminded only when my stomach started actually growling. Then I had my snack..got busy again, and it suddenly was lunch time! After work I had some errands to run, and it was only when I felt really hungry again on the way home, that I realized I had missed my afternoon snack too. I ate an apple, and felt okay until supper.

I love when I am actually physically hungry when I eat, and not just "mind hungry". Staying busy seems to be the key, unfortunately, my busy-ness at work ebbs and flows beyond my control. Here's to more busy days in the future!! :)

I've Lost 400 pounds!!

Really I have. Well, not necessarily recently. But throughout my life. There have been about 2 times in the past 20 years that I successfully dropped over 100 lbs, several other occasions where I lost 40-60 lbs, and a few 20 lbs lost here and there. I added it all up, and it is about 400 lbs. Close to what I weighed the beginning of 2008. Amazing. If only I could have kept it all off, I would weight about 3 lbs today. :)

But seriously, I mean what is wrong with me (and most of America), that we can't keep weight off after we lose it? I think that what all those health experts have been saying for years is true....diets don't work. Lifestyle change does. But here is the funny thing. I still see the WW plan as a "diet". To me, a diet is a plan that has rules and restrictions about what you can eat, and when. The points system w/ WW does have a limit of how many you can use in a day, week, etc. The Core plan is better, but still has rules about what is, and is not, considered Core. (And I know they actually don't call them that anymore, that it is Momentum.)

So actually, for the past year, I have been working with a Fitness coach from the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, to "become healthier." I do kind of follow a "health plan", and do a certain minimum of exercise weekly. For the first time, I truly don't feel like I am on a diet. Mainly because I am telling myself that I don't have to be perfect. I do want to change my lifestyle...I want to eat leaner proteins, less fat, better carbs, and almost no sugar. And I do that most of the time. But occasionally I will have a piece of cheesecake, or whatever, and I don't "count the points for it and move on", I just move on. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not putting down WW. It is an amazing, amazing weight loss company that has helped millions lose weight, myself included. But I am just not sure it is the greatest at helping people maintain. When you get down to the maintenance part of WW, it is really tough!! I have seen so many of my friends from the WW boards struggle with this. I think there has to be a better way.

One problem I had in the past, after I lost those 100 lbs twice, was that I was PERFECT on the plan during my losing period, and the weight started melting away. Once I deviated from the plan even a little, (both times it was deviating on vacation that started it), I could not get my act back together for the life of me. I struggled so much to get back on plan, and finally gave up. Thus, the weight returned.

This time, I know the weight is not coming back. Because I really have learned to choose the healthier foods for feeling my best....and even though I occasionally pick some foods that aren't the best for me, I don't get that negative feeling of "oh, I have blown my whole diet - what a loser!" . And my mindset for once is not on the amount of weight lost, but on how I feel. And I feel good. I would love to lose weight rapidly, but for myself, perhaps that is not best. I'd rather not focus on the number, because I know the weight will continue to go down, as long as I choose the healthier way to eat. There's no "race" that I am competing in...there's no reason I have to weigh such and such a weight by a certain date. And I am glad.

Oh, I hate feeling stuffed!

Usually I try to follow the rule of thumb to eat something every 3 hours throughout the day. My fitness coach says it keeps your body's metabolism going better, and I have gotten used to it, and miss it when I don't snack.

So this morning I ate breakfast at around 7:30. Two scrambled eggs, and 2 Nutrigrain waffles, w/ a little lite butter and SF syrup. It was plenty, had some coffee, felt nicely full.

However, since I am in church from 9:30 to 12:30, I am not able to eat a snack at my regular 3 hour point...typically somewhere in the 10-11 hour range. And of course after church, I had to run to the store to get a few essentials for the week...milk, eggs, bread, fruit. By the time I got home, it was 1:30. I was soooo hungry!

I made a quick lite ham sandwich on a toasted lite English muffin, with spinach leaves, lite swiss cheese, and mustard. Then had some leftover beans w/ small bits of chicken and turkey sausage in it that I had pulled from the freezer. It filled me up right good. But I still ended up eating a little mock pumpkin pie for dessert. Why? I don't know. I was actually full by then. I think I kind of just get into an eating "frenzy", because I am so hungry when I start.

So now I am unpleasantly full. I know I didn't eat too many points, or calories, but I still didn't need all that. That is one lesson I can't seem to learn on this journey....when I really feel full....STOP eating!! Or only eat until satisfaction. I just can't seem to find that perfect place. I am working on it though! And I will somehow have to sneak in a snack on church day. Maybe inbetween Sunday school and the worship service...I could scarf down a string cheese. :) Or have one in the car to eat immediately afterwards. Anything to prevent the ferocious hunger that takes over my body.

Salt is not my friend....

I got on the scale today, and was up three pounds from yesterday. Huh?? Then I realized that I had eaten a lot of sodium yesterday in the foods I had. It is water retention, pure and simple. I hate that. Thank goodness weigh in is tomorrow for me, and not today!! I also felt kind of ......er........how can I say this..backed up, despite the amount of fiber I have been eating.

So my plan for today is to eat clean foods that are low in sodium, and also to drink lots of water and get some serious exercise in to get things moving. Started off with some prunes and oatmeal for breakfast. That should be a good beginning point. And I had a couple of cups of coffee to boot. Just ate an apple for a snack. Yes, it is my own version of a cleansing in one day! :) Truly, it is really just not fair for the scale to appear as if I have been eating with abandon. It just isn't.

So by tomorrow morning, I hope the fluid is gone, and that the colon has willingly given up its horde. Sorry if this was TMI, but it is the reality of being in the BLBE challenge. All extra weight, be it in the form of fluid or processed food must exit my body immediately! Team Angie must prevail!

No more money on food!!

I made a vow the first of this week to stop buying food. I have been spending too much. Not only on eating out over the holidays, but on fresh fruit and veggies, and chicken, etc. My problem is that if I see a sale....I buy it!! Then the food sits in my freezer until it becomes old and dries up and flakes away.

With the economy the way it is, I am crazy to let food sit in the pantry and freezer, uneaten. Even though I would prefer fresh meat, or fresh veggies and fruit, I have plenty of frozen or canned stuff. So I have decided to stop buying almost everything except milk, bananas, apples, and yogurt for my son. I should save a huge amount in the supermarket, and I am hoping that I will be eating pretty healthy...since I have a lot of dried beans and canned veggies to experiment with.

Made some great eating decisions today...we ordered out at lunch for a birthday, from a place that makes fantastic sandwiches. I chose a salad. Also, there was yummy baked breads sitting around all morning from a meeting. I didn't eat any. Then, there were black bottom cheesecakes....little small ones for the birthday girl. My friends were saying..."Oh Sue, just eat one, take a break. You deserve it, blah blah blah." I resisited their evil urgings, and had some yogurt. I feel good about that. Hope the scale rewards me for my virtue! :)

Have a great weekend everybody! :)

The "good for me food" tastes good again!

When ever I deviate from eating healthy, it is really hard to get back on track. One reason is because the sugar and fat of unhealthy choices seem to deaden my taste buds, and my true hunger. So then when I try to get back on track, the healthy food just doesn't appeal to me.

It usually takes me about 2-3 days of eating right before..HALLELUJAH!...I enjoy eating veggies again. I look forward to a fresh, juicy orange. And a sliced tomato on a plate looks good to me. :) Then it is a lot easier to eat those yummy, good for you foods.

For example, last night I was truly hungry before bed. I decided that a plate of steamed broccoli sounded very good. And that is what I had. It was tasty. Tonight, my dinner was kind of "cleaning out the fridge" leftover night. I had some tomato soup, (I love Campbell's w/ lots of black pepper - even though I know it may not be the healthiest brand!), a lean ham sandwich on lite ww bread, and then, to fill in the crevices, some mixed veggies cooked on the stove. The veggies were so awesome! They filled me up, and I enjoyed every bite. Last week I wouldn't have even entertained the thought! Veggies, ewww. Fudge....yum. But now, honestly, the thought of fudge doesn't even appeal. Ahhh, I am detoxed and lovin' it.

Go team Angie!! :)

There's no puke on my treadmill...

I guess I am not workin' it hard enough. Last night I watched in disbelief as one contestant on the Biggest Loser vomited while running on the treadmill and kept right on going. I am a nurse, so I am used to people "giving it back" so to speak....but usually they stop, find a bucket or something, and give themselves a moment to get it all out.

I have NEVER worked out so hard that I felt like throwing up. Granted, I have gone on long walks, uphill hikes, and such, where I felt just spent afterwards. Shaky legs, weary to the bone. But I have not been pushed so hard that I can't keep my food down.

Honestly, I don't think I want to be pushed that hard. I want to do a reasonable amount of exercise, every day, to be healthy. I want to be able to maintain that amount of exercise every day for as long as I can move. I someday want to be one of "those" people who say that they LOVE exercise. (That day can't come too soon, as far as I am concerned.)

So I will be on the treadmill tonight. My nice clean, non-vomited-upon treadmill. And I will walk for my team....Team Angie! And I will walk for myself! Team Shrinking Sue! But Iwon't be spewing forth for Jillian. Not tonight.

Oh Evil Chocolate....Flee from my presence..

Day two of the challenge. And I have eaten too much. Sigh. It started out well and good. Had a great day at work, ate well all day. But then when I got home, I started sampling the beef stew I had thrown into the crockpot. It was really, really good. Some lean chunks of beef, with one can of whole potatoes, some baby carrots, a quartered onion, some beef bullion, and a can of tomato sauce. It turned into a delicious savory stew. But it was so yummy, I just kept sampling it. Then my son wanted chocolate, so I gave him some chocolate chips. Of course I had just a measured few. Which suddenly turned turned into a few leftover dwarf gingerbread men, sans heads of course, and then some peanuts and raisins. It didn't stop there. Now I am stuffed, I know I have gone over my allottment of points, calories, fat grams and sugar quotia for the week. Sigh.

It is amazing to me how easy it is to be strong in this eating department one day, and then so weak the next. There were no emotional triggers, there were no moments of boredom or eating out of being distraught. I just was hungry, ate something, and then kept going, as was my habit for so many years. (Hence I was almost 400 lbs!). Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why.

Okay, so I have laid it all out here, and I am moving forward. For the rest of this week, I vow to stay within my points...to the letter! And since I have already used up my 35 extra for the week today...that means staying exactly at my points every day. No splurges. I know I can do it.

Away from me oh chocolately goodness! I'm cutting you off for good! Oh, and were we talking about exercise..........................?

Whooo Hooooo! The race is on!

I am so excited to be starting this challenge with the BLBE. It is going to be awesome! Of course my biggest goal all along has been to just become healthier, by eating whole foods and less of them, and by exercise. You know. Actually moving.

However, now that I am in this challenge, I am starting to want to drop some serious pounds! Today went pretty well.....it was back to work, and I had packed my lunch, as I find I can stick to healthy eating so much better by packing.

After work, my son wanted to go see the movie "The Tale of Desperaux". Mid-way through the movie, I began to think how yummy that cartoon piece of cheese looked onscreen. Perhaps I should have brought a snack. I ended up eating about 2-3 pts of popcorn then, but was able to control it pretty well. Got home and had some fish and veggies. Now I think a nice hot cup of tea would be grand!

I am a school nurse in an elementary school, and I live near Baltimore, Maryland, in the good old US of A. I don't get much activity during the day, but I am hoping to start getting up really early in the a.m. to get on that dreaded treadmill. That's my goal anyway. I'll let you know tomorrow night!

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!! :)

New year....new goal!

I am not really one for setting a New Year's goal, so to speak. In the past, I have not kept them, and invariably, they all revolved around diets. But last year, in 2008, I set a goal that I managed to keep. I decided to live healthier....eat better and move more, and I actually accomplished that goal last year, for the most part. There were days I could have definitely improved my eating, and days I never got in any exercise. But for the most part, I was really changing.

So here I am at the start of 2009. I am still morbidly obese, and I am striving to take off pounds instead of adding them. This past month has been difficult, with holiday gatherings and sweets everywhere. For inspirations, sometimes I have looked online at other people who were trying to get healthy too. One of those bloggers has really inspired me.......Angie all the Way. She has already lost about a hundred pounds, and is still working it to get down to her goal weight. I am inspired by her dedication to that goal, and I am amazed by her decision to take pictures of everything she puts in her mouth. It is working for her.

Angie has been the moderator for the Biggest Loser Blog edition...and Challenge #1 just ended. I want to be in on Challenge #2, because, well, I've always loved a good challenge! And I could use a little motivation right now. So I have created this blog to be able to be a part of the new challenge.

Here's to a continued downward trend for me! And along the way, I hope to encourage and be encouraged by my fellow biggest losers. :)